despair.

I am having a bad day today.

My work pants are tight today (and by tight, I mean they actually fit and aren't loose like they were last week.)
I'm trying to remind myself that I have my period and this is normal and ok.
But it's not working and I've already slipped up a few times today.

When I think about my period, all I want to do is start starving so I can make it go away again.

I have no confidence that I will ever be past these eating issues.

I'm certain I will die from this.
I've been saying it for years and I still don't think it's clicked.

I don't think I will consider myself sick enough until it's far too late.