I don't have much to say today, or just lately in general.
Have been obsessively weighing myself, using a lot of behaviors, and just being pretty mean to myself all together.

I had lost weight while my mom was gone last week and since she's home, I've gained it all back.
I'm very not happy because it was an ok weight loss. I had eaten very well and worked out ok amounts and all the "normal" stuff.

I need to lose weight.
Or rather, I need to gain health.
I know my weight is unhealthy, but I am trying very hard to focus on not weight loss, but health instead. I want to slowly teach myself how to do this, how to accept food and be ok and be healthy and happy.

But when I look back on last week's food log, I realize how deep in this I still am.
How what I think of as being "good" and "healthy" is so very far from that.

And I don't know where to go or what to do or how to start.
My head is full of negativity and it's pulling me down.