Sitting at my desk sobbing.
Finally emailed my sister-in-law about the job she told me about and explained that it sounds perfect, but I've been dealing with such nasty anxiety lately that I'm not sure I could handle it.
She emailed me this really nice reply about how she understands and she just really wants to see me in a better job and could get to college and get more schooling and have a future. And then she told me that she went to her doctor last month and got put on anxiety meds and that they've helped her so much. She said they're not a forever solution, but they help get her to a better functioning state.

Why can everyone else get through this but me?
My fear and anxiety are keeping me from tackling my fear and anxiety.
It's just so fucked up.